Megan Dolan, a seasoned writer, actor, and storyteller based in Long Beach, is set to present her compelling solo show, "Not the Right Mom: A Full Spectrum Comedy," at the Poway Center for the Performing Arts this Sunday afternoon, April 26th. The performance, scheduled for 4 p.m., offers a candid and humorous exploration of the intricate journey of raising a son on the autism spectrum, delving into the challenges, unexpected joys, and inevitable chaos that come with this deeply personal experience.
The 80-minute production, presented without an intermission, chronicles the initial year following Dolan’s son’s autism diagnosis at the age of five. Her son is now sixteen. To safeguard his privacy, Dolan intentionally uses a pseudonym for her son within the narrative, ensuring his real name remains undisclosed. This creative choice underscores her commitment to respecting his autonomy while sharing her lived experiences. Dolan recently shared that her son had the opportunity to see "Not the Right Mom" in person, after having viewed it on video. His positive reaction, stating that he enjoyed the show, was deeply meaningful to Dolan, highlighting the success of her effort to connect with her audience on an authentic level.
While "Not the Right Mom" has often found its audience within support groups, educational institutions, and among parents navigating the complexities of raising children with unique needs, Dolan emphasizes its broader appeal. She asserts that the show resonates with a wider demographic, including those with family members on the autism spectrum or individuals who know someone with similar experiences. "It’s very universal," Dolan explained, underscoring the show’s ability to foster connection through shared themes of resilience and redemption, interwoven with moments of levity that acknowledge the sometimes absurd nature of life’s circumstances. The performance is recommended for ages 14 and up, with Dolan noting the inclusion of "well-placed profanity," a touch she believes is essential for any honest portrayal of parenting.
A Life in Storytelling and Performance
Megan Dolan, 54, a native of Southern California, brings a rich tapestry of artistic experience to her solo work. Her academic foundation includes a bachelor’s degree in theater arts from California State University, Long Beach. She was a foundational member of the critically acclaimed Elephant Theatre Company and, for seventeen years, facilitated Playfair, a program that has been a staple during college student orientations across the nation. Her performance credits extend to renowned venues and festivals such as The Moth, the Hollywood Fringe Festival, the Ojai Storytelling Festival, and Expressing Motherhood. Furthermore, her TEDx talk, "Messy Mommy: A Slob in the Shadows," is available for viewing on YouTube, offering another facet of her expressive artistry.
"Not the Right Mom" marks Dolan’s third solo theatrical endeavor. Her debut solo show, created in 2000, delved into a "relationship I had in my 20s that plagued me." Fifteen years later, she explored her experiences as the mother of two young children in her second solo production. It was in 2018 that she conceived "Not the Right Mom," focusing specifically on her journey with her son and his autism diagnosis. The show features Dolan embodying at least ten distinct characters, including herself, her husband, her daughter, her son, and various individuals encountered along their life path.
Evolution of a Performance for Larger Audiences
After years of presenting "Not the Right Mom" in intimate venues with fewer than 100 seats across Southern California, Dolan had initially considered concluding the show around April 2024. However, a pivotal suggestion from an audience member to consider larger performing arts centers, capable of accommodating hundreds, opened new avenues for her work. This shift has allowed her to connect with significantly larger audiences and has presented new opportunities for her artistry.
The transition to larger stages necessitated only minor adjustments, which Dolan has found to be beneficial. Notably, she has incorporated a microphone into her performance, enhancing vocal clarity and enabling a more nuanced delivery. "That is so incredibly exciting for me, because I do not have to push my voice and can give a more nuanced performance," Dolan stated. While she continues to engage directly with the audience, viewing them as integral scene partners, the use of a microphone has subtly altered the dynamic, yet she maintains an intimate connection. "I still talk directly to the audience, especially the rows in front of me. It’s different with a microphone… but there is still an intimate feeling because I view the audience as my scene partner," she elaborated. The production features a minimalist set and props, complemented by projected imagery on a screen to establish various settings, allowing the narrative and Dolan’s performance to remain the central focus.
Dolan finds the solo show format particularly well-suited to her family life. Unlike traditional theatrical productions that may demand rigid rehearsal schedules, solo shows offer flexibility. "I can run lines in the car… or when walking the dog," she noted, highlighting how she integrates practice into her daily routines. The advantage of writing her own material extends beyond memorization; it allows her to craft lines that authentically reflect her voice and perspective. "It’s really fun writing for your own voice," Dolan commented. She further elaborated that motherhood has made her more selective about her professional engagements. "Once I had kids, I was more discerning with what I do and would not just do any show. My own material was juicer than anything I was auditioning for."
Embracing Vulnerability and Artistic License
Sharing deeply personal aspects of her life has evolved into an embrace for Dolan, viewed through a new lens. "The longer I do a show and own the story, it is not just reliving my life. It is really freeing and fun," she shared. The emotional depth she can access during a performance, she finds, is profoundly fulfilling as an actor. She recalls experiencing a "vulnerability hangover" after her first solo show, a feeling of second-guessing and questioning the extent of her self-disclosure. However, Dolan has developed strategies to effectively compartmentalize her performances from her everyday life, particularly when friends and family attend her shows and wish to discuss the content afterward.
While her solo shows are autobiographical, Dolan acknowledges that she exercises artistic license. "Some things have been heightened for dramatic effect," she admitted, a common practice in theatrical storytelling to enhance narrative impact. She cites comedian and solo performer Mike Birbiglia as an artist she admires, recognizing a shared approach to crafting compelling personal narratives for the stage.
Community Engagement and Expert Insights
In conjunction with Dolan’s performance, Poway OnStage and Hope on the Hard Road are offering complementary opportunities designed to engage attendees with the themes presented in the show. Prior to the performance, from 1:30 to 2:30 p.m., Dolan will lead a free writing workshop. This session will guide participants through prompts and free-writing exercises, encouraging them to explore their personal experiences, share their narratives, and connect with others in a secure and supportive environment. No prior writing experience is necessary, though pre-registration is required.
Following the performance, a brief question-and-answer session will feature Dolan alongside prominent experts in relevant fields. Scheduled to participate are Gohar Gyurjyan, Ph.D., Chief Executive Officer of MindWise Psychology Services, and Heath Schauder, Executive Director of Special Education for the Poway Unified School District. This panel aims to provide further context, address audience questions, and offer insights into the broader landscape of autism support and education. These supplementary events underscore the production’s commitment to fostering dialogue and providing resources beyond the theatrical experience itself.
The performance of "Not the Right Mom: A Full Spectrum Comedy" at the Poway Center for the Performing Arts on Sunday afternoon represents more than just an artistic presentation; it is an invitation to connect, empathize, and understand the profound experiences of family, neurodiversity, and the enduring strength of the human spirit, all through the lens of humor and authentic storytelling.
